What’s the best pocket pussy for less than $20?

Let’s face it. Jacking off gets boring after using the same old hand for decades. Sure, we can switch it up from time to time. Left to right. Right to left. But at the end of the day, it’s still the same old boring hand. Wouldn’t it be nice to spice things up a bit?

Not long ago, a coworker of mine told me how he likes to change things up. He said “Just sit on your hand until it gets numb. Then jack off. It’s like a stranger jerking you off.”

SERIOUSLY? I wasn’t sure if he was joking or serious. He’s a bit fucked in the head, so I wouldn’t put it past him to try it. All I know is that a numb hand isn’t much good for jacking off, for a variety of reasons.

There is a solution…

 

pocket pussies: the cure for boring masturbation

 

They make masturbation better

Choosing one can be tricky, though. There are hundreds of different types, molds, shapes and sizes to choose from.

But we’re gonna make it easy for you. We scoured the web and filtered out the trash. Most of these that you are about to see cost less than $20 US.

 

Go straight to the toys right here, or continue reading.

 

 

What the heck is this thing?

These toys have lots of different names. They are sometimes referred to as fake or artificial vaginas, portable masturbators, fake pussies, etc.

Tenga Polygon 3D

Despite the naughty names, they have one thing in common: they’re PORTABLE sex toys for people with penises. They come with a hole on one or both ends and are designed to slide onto an erect cock, simulating masturbation or sex. Tengas and Fleshlights are typically not portable (there are a couple of exceptions), therefore you won’t see them on this page. These brands are usually much larger and won’t hide very well in a coat pocket, unless you’re as big as Quasimodo.

 

Many different types

Sometimes they are replicas of porn star vaginas. Others are designed to resemble an open mouth. Still others look and claim to feel like a butt hole. The sky is the limit. Your imagination is the only thing stopping you from trying something sexy or even a bit insane.

 

They’re inexpensive

A guy can have lots of fun for under twenty bucks, which is a huge bonus for me, as I’m a tight ass with my money. So if you’re so tight that your ass could turn a lump of charcoal into a diamond, this is a great toy to keep handy in your sock and underwear drawer.

I won’t be giving my standard, comprehensive reviews here. Since these babies are so darn cheap, they’re practically disposable. For $10-$15 it’s a small investment. If you don’t like it, pitch it and try something else!

 

They all feel pretty much the same

For the most part, they all feel similar, without much variation. The tightness of the toy is controlled mostly by squeezing the hand on the outside. The interior holes may have bumps or ridges in them, but again, they don’t feel noticeably different.

 

They’re not as good as full size Fleshlights or Tengas

These toys are designed to be inexpensive and make masturbation a little more fun. But they will NEVER match the suction and realistic feel of more expensive toys, simply because of the low cost construction.

If these compact strokers don’t tickle your taste buds, allow me to recommend some higher end masturbators, right here.

NOTE: all these toys can be found on Amazon. When you click the product links below, you will be taken to the corresponding page.


 

Vaginas

If lifelike pussies are your fancy, here are a few models that are sure to whet your whistle. The Faye Regan one below is taken from an actual mold made from the famous porn star’s pussy. Some are more realistic than others, but honestly, that’s just cosmetic. It has nothing to do with how good a stroker feels and operates.

I own and have used all three of these below. I recommend them all. I LOVE the Faye Regan one because it really looks like a real vagina, lips, bumps and all. I also fancy the Lexi Belle because it’s molded with the fingers on it, which makes it looks like she’s spreading her lips for you. All three are very nice, supple and have an above average amount of suction. Cleaning is a breeze. If I had to pick one, it would be the Faye Regan. For the most part, they all feel about the same when stroking.

 

 

See how to make a pussy mold!

Lexi gets a perfectly cast replica of her vagina, shown below.

 


 

Mouths

These are the ones that look like a gaping mouth, just waiting for you to slide your happy, erect cock down its throat. Once inside they really don’t feel any different that other portable fake pussies. It’s just a cosmetic thing.

I own, use and recommend all three of these. If you wanna get really weird, try the Sexbaby Realistic Mouth stroker. It feels great, but the teeth and tongue are a bit unsettling. Not sure if that’s good or bad! Any way you slice it, these are all a good choice and are definitely at the low end of the price range.

 

 


 

Butt holes

If ass fucking is your thing, these are the models most likely to suit your tastes. On the outside they typically have a round hole, perhaps with some marks around the rim that makes it look like it’s being stretched.

I also own these three (yes, I have a lot of toys in my closet!) The Butt Banger is the most unique of the three. It looks like a small cock and balls bent back towards the asshole. Personally, I prefer the Krystina Rose ULTRASKYN. I like the realistic look. And for whatever reason, it feels slightly better than the other two. Perhaps it’s a bit tighter on my cock. The Colt model is designed to look like a guy’s butt hole. Very similar in feel to the Butt Banger.

 


 

Ones that don’t even look like a sex toy

Here are some that don’t resemble a sex toy at all, despite serving the same function. They operate just like all the others above, except that they aren’t molded or cast to look like a body part. Some are clear, some are solid colors. Some are curved while others are straight. The possibilities are endless.

All three of these toys are very cool. The Colt and the Vibratex are the best out of the three. They have a tighter feel than the Doc Johnson Exciter. The Colt is cool because it looks like a grenade. If I had to choose just one, it would be the Vibratex for quality construction and really nice feel wrapped around my cock. It’s also easy to increase or decrease pressure on the penis by squeezing harder or lighter with your hand.

 


 

How do I use one?

Ok, using a sex toy doesn’t get any easier than this. Simply apply a liberal amount of water based lube on your cock and/or the hole of the toy. With toy in hand, slide it over your hard penis. Move it up and down to simulate masturbation or sex. Keep going until you blow your load!

You can cum inside the toy, or remove it at the moment of truth. You have total control over the experience, so the choice is yours. Unless you have a partner using one on you, then it’s an entirely different ballgame 🙂

 

Check out this video

A brief tutorial on how to use and how to clean one.

 

 

 

 

Why use one?

In my opinion, a portable vagina serves three main functions:

  1. Makes masturbation fun and interesting, because a hand gets boring
  2. Provides a reduced friction way to jack off (always use plenty of lube)
  3. Helps to eliminate death grip – this is when the penis is squeezed too hard during masturbation

 

How to clean one

This only takes a minute, but it’s a very important step to keep the toy safe and in good working order. It depends on the toy, but some warm soapy water followed by liberal use of an antibacterial cleanser will keep the toy in good working order for hundreds of uses.

 

Wrapping up

Pocket pussies are great sex toys to have around the house. They’re inexpensive, portable and make masturbation a little more fun. Not to mention making it more safe: they prevent the dreaded death grip from squeezing the penis too hard while masturbating.

 

 

Recommended reading

 

 

*This post contains affiliate links. Please see our disclosures for more details.

Dave

Author: Dave

Hi, I’m Dave. And I’m a….sex fiend?!? No, not really. But, Kinda :)

Actually, I’m just your average white collar guy who happens to have a soft spot for sexy WOMEN and HOT sex toys. Hence, these are my chosen topics for this blog.

I’m fluent in 3 languages: English, Profanity and Sarcasm.

I own a number of male sex toys, and my personal “toybox” is growing rapidly. But prostate toys are my favorite.

So, enjoy the ride, and drop me a line if you have something to say!

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