A good sex lube makes life MUCH easier
There must be a thousand different lubes on the market, all claiming to be the best. There are water based, oil based, silicone based and desensitizing, just to name a few. There are enough different types, brands and options to make one’s head spin.
So let’s dispel the myths and get straight to the facts.
By the time you finish reading this guide, you’ll know exactly how to choose the best product for any given situation.
Table of contents
- Which is the best?
- Compatibility chart for sex toys
- Why lubrication is important
- Best water based
- Best silicone based
- Silicone is the KING of all!
- Best oil based
- Best desensitizing
The answer to this question isn’t cut and dry. It depends on the activity. Is it for penile masturbation? Anal sex? Vaginal sex? Prostate play? Sex toys?
Penile masturbation – when using a toy like a male masturbator or pocket pussy, this is very important. Sticking your hard cock into a dry toy is a recipe for disaster. I personally recommend water based for this type of activity. It’s easy to clean up, it’s inexpensive and compatible with 99.9% of sex toys.
Anal sex – Butt holes are very different from vaginas in that they are NOT self lubricating. So if you’re planning to stick your dick in your partner’s ass, a high quality lube is essential. Fortunately, you can use almost any type. Water based is the cheapest option, but oil and silicone based are much more slippery and longer lasting.
You can even use desensitizing products if your asshole is a bit shy.
Vaginal sex – from personal experience I can tell you that vaginal wetness varies greatly from woman to woman. Some females are just plain gushers, and they never need help. Others secrete very little and need some slippery assistance from time to time.
Her wetness varies based on many factors. It depends on age, diet, amount of stimulation and a host of other variables. Keeping this in mind, it’s a no brainer to always have a bottle handy around the house/bedroom. A water based is your best bet here.
Prostate play – this could be lumped in with anal sex, above, but I wanted to discuss this as a separate topic. When I think about prostate play, the first thing that comes to mind is prostate toys. The composition of the toy dictates which product should be used.
A stainless steel toy, like the Njoy Pure Wand is compatible with all types. A silicone toy like the Blewit! Male Performance Enhancer should only be used with water based products. As a general rule, water based is compatible with all sex toys. See the next section for a compatibility chart.
The type you need depends on the materials your toy is made of:
|Toy/Lube||Silicone Based||Water Based||Oil Based|
It’s just like the car you drive to work every day. It’s critical to have plenty of oil in the engine and change it from time to time, right? If you don’t it’ll fail and possibly blow up! The most common reason for engine failure is low oil level. Low or no oil means no lubrication. Which causes friction. Which causes bad things to happen!
The same concept applies to humans and their sexual orifices and appendages. Sticking our junk into dry holes is always a bad idea.
It has two essential functions:
Lubricate: It’s difficult to slide toys or cocks into a rectum without some sort of slippery stuff in there. Likewise, cramming a hard dick into a dry male stroker is really uncomfortable. A high quality product will be slippery AND long lasting. It’s not much fun if you have to keep applying more and more before you can finish.
Protect: It’s neither safe nor healthy when sticking things or being stuck by things without lubrication. The anal canal contains hundreds of thousands of nerves and microorganisms. Tearing these walls can upset the balance down there, causing pain, infections or worse. On a similar note, the penis is also a sensitive area for obvious reasons.
Avoid all the complications and use a liberal amount when it doesn’t occur naturally.
There are a lot of myths circulating around regarding lubrication. A common fallacy is that water based are the best. Well, no, they aren’t. They’re not as slick and often need to be reapplied in the heat of the moment. But they’re also cheaper, and readily available at your local corner drugstore. You can usually find them near the condoms display. They’re also acceptable for any situation.
Get a bottle with a pump top. It’s much easier to deal with in the heat of the moment!
- Advantages – these are safe to use with 99.9% of ALL sex toys. The gold standard for anal and vaginal sex. Compatible with condoms.
- Disadvantages – it can start to feel dry and quickly lose its slippery properties. You just need to reapply more lube and you’re good to go. A splash of water can help it last a little longer if it’s drying out.
My favorite water based is from Passion. Works very well, long lasting for a water type, and it’s extremely affordable.
As I mentioned earlier, silicone is my #1 favorite for longevity and slipperiness. But it should only be used for anal sex or with stainless steel butt toys. I rarely need to reapply these after the initial application. Unless the session is going to last a LONG time 🙂
- Silicone should NOT be used with silicone sex toys. The toy may interact with the lube and degrade it, literally melting it. There are some silicone combos that work together, but I prefer to just avoid it.
- These should not be used with your favorite latex condoms. If you need to wrap it, stick with water based.
- Silicone is generally the most expensive and not readily available at the drug or grocery store.
- Very little product is needed to get the desired result. Oftentimes it only takes a few drops to get the job done.
- It’s great to use in the shower. If you or your partner like to play while standing under the running water, silicone is a great option.
- It works great as a massage oil. If you’re giving a back rub to your significant other and you’re out of your regular stuff, this works just as well.
- It stays viable for MUCH longer. It won’t dissolve or wash away as easily.
- It’s gentle on the skin, rarely causing allergic reactions.
I personally recommend the silicone type from Swiss Navy. It’s as good as any of the more expensive products. And it’s cheaper.
These are a little more difficult to find. These are usually available at your local sex toy shop. Or you can order online to keep things discreet.
- Advantages – these are natural or natural-based products. Usually containing natural oils from coconut or other plants. Some even contain shea butter. These tend to last longer than water-based.
- Disadvantages – more expensive than water based. More difficult to find, unless you order online. Sometimes available at your local adult toy store.
Coconut oil is my second favorite! Boy Butter is my personal top choice because it’s made from natural ingredients. If you’re feeling “organic”, this is the ticket.
SIDE NOTE: If you can find a pure coconut oil product at your local grocery or Sams Club/Costco, it works just as well. Generally available around the cooking section. It really isn’t much cheaper than a commercial product, though.
Personally, I don’t care for these types. However, I felt I should include them anyway, since they’re pertinent.
These are good if you find anal play to be painful or uncomfortable. These contain an ingredient called lidocaine that will numb the area of application. This is a viable option if you’re just getting started with prostate massage or anal sex.
- Advantages – they provide all the slick qualities that you expect, with the added benefit of numbing the area.
- Disadvantages – it can dull the excitement. I personally like to feel everything going on down there. Also, a numb asshole could mask pain that deserves immediate attention.
My favorite desensitizing brand? Cleanstream Relax Desensitizing. As I mentioned I’m not a huge fan of desensitizing products. I’ve tried a few different ones, but they all work about the same. I like this product because you get more of it for less money.
Well, that just about covers everything. Remember that using a good lube for your sexual activities is important for BOTH your health and your pleasure.
Two key points
- Water based is universally acceptable. Great for sex with a partner and with sex toys.
- The others (oil, silicone and desensitizing) have their place, but their use should be restricted and only applied during the right situations.
Check out our prostate pleasure series!
- See the best sex toys for the job right here
- Here’s the PROPER way to do it. read more
- Sex toys I love to use. read more
- The best male masturbators: 5 sex toys totally worth your money
- Death by Sex: 5 INSANE ways to die
- Sex Ed 101: Learn how to dominate her in the bedroom
*This post contains affiliate links. Please see our disclosures for more details.