Here’s how to use a prostate stimulator, the RIGHT way

Preparation and massage techniques are important

There is lots of great information on the web about how to CHOOSE a prostate stimulation device.  But, when it comes to USING one, there isn’t a lot of good info.

The most common question I get is how to massage your prostate!

So I decided to write a guide of my own! If you’re new to this, then you’ve landed on the right page!  Even if you’re an advanced user, you might still find something useful..

For me, the most exciting thing about male P-spot massage is the chance to have…..multiple orgasms.

Yes, you read that right.  I’m in it for the multiples.  A massage session without several mind blowing orgasms isn’t a disappointment for me, but it could always go better.  If you’ve never experienced multiple male orgasms, follow along to see what I do to get the most enjoyment from my toys.


Table of contents

  1. Introduction
  2. Multiple male orgasms?
  3. It’s simply a state of mind
  4. Allow plenty of time
  5. Don’t touch your penis!
  6. A finger is ok. Toys are better.
  7. ALWAYS use a good lube
  8. Preparation
  9. To douche, or not to douche?
  10. Getting into position
  11. Put it on cruise control
  12. Finishing up



Intro: First things first

Sticking items in your rectum for pleasure does NOT make you gay. Some straight guys even like to experience this with another man. As a hetero male, this seems to be the most common issue that causes men to shy away from prostate play.  I was there once.  I was THAT guy.  And I’ll also say this:  I missed out on a lot of good years of sexual bliss because of my irrational fear.

If you’re a younger guy, and this intrigues you, GO FOR IT.  Enjoy yourself.  It’s your body.  You can do whatever the heck you want with it.  NEVER feel embarrassed by things that make you feel good.


Are multiple orgasms really possible for men?

YES!!  Yes they are.  Here’s why:  orgasm achieved via prostate massage does not result in ejaculation in the traditional sense.  Once you ejaculate, you’re done, at least for the time being.  This is a result of the refractory period, during which it’s impossible to have more orgasms.  All men will experience this refractory period.  The time can vary from minutes to hours.  I won’t cover the length of time in this article, however, as we have more stimulating things to discuss.

Again, since there is no ejaculation, orgasms can keep coming fast and strong, sometimes within seconds of each other.  My personal best is 5 orgasms, back to back, about 20 seconds apart.  Now, this didn’t happen overnight.  It was the result of months of practice and playing around with different techniques.  My point is, if I can do it, so can you.  Just be patient.



It’s all a state of mind

As men, we’re physical creatures.  At least that’s what the rest of the modern world tells us.  It’s true to an extent, but our state of mind is an even more powerful barometer of our sexual response.

Relaxation is the KEY. Try to put yourself in “zen” mode.  This will help you gain focus, so you can fully enjoy your orgasmic ride.

For me, the only way to get in the proper mode is to relax.  This means breathing exercises, relaxing music, etc.  In my early days, I’d just pop the prostate toy in there and go to town, hoping for the best.  It didn’t take long to learn that if I’m not in the right mood, I can leave that thing in there for an hour or two and NOTHING would happen.  Can you say disappointment?!?

Nowadays, I take things much slower.  I’m methodical AND deliberate with my sessions.



It takes time. Allow for at least an hour.

I like to have AT LEAST an hour of solitude for this.  Two is even better.  The best time for me is when I’m home alone.  This way I know there won’t be any interruptions.  No girlfriend walking into my bedroom.  No kids screaming outside the door.

My phone and TV get turned off.  The lights are turned low.  I want this time all to myself.  No outside interruptions.  I want to focus solely on ME and only me.  This is critical for a successful session.

Maybe all this seems like overkill, but it really isn’t.  If you can’t devote this amount of time and dedication, just wait until you can.  It’s worth it.  This is totally different than regular masturbation.  Heck, I only need 5 or 10 minutes for that.  The lights and TV can be on.  I can pretty much do that whenever.

A good p-spot massage session is an entirely different matter.  It’s more difficult, but well worth it.





Don’t touch your penis!

SERIOUSLY, this is the last thing you wanna do when massaging your prostate.  It will be extremely tempting.  And yes, playing with it during this time will feel damn good.  But DON’T DO IT.  You risk having an orgasm with ejaculation, and that’s not what you want right now.  The last thing you want to do is blow it (hehe, pun intended) and miss out on the rest of your experience.


Toys or fingers?

I’ve used both, and prostate toys are the best way to go if you want the full pleasure experience.  Personally, I think fingers are too small.  As a tall guy, it’s a real pain in the ass for me to reach around and keep things going with my hand.  It’s a physical strain as well as mental.  Mentally, I lose focus on the task at hand and that’s just not worth it.

Sure, your fingers are free to use whenever.  They don’t cost you a dime.  Just make sure those fingernails are trimmed!

It was in my best interest to just spend some money to get the best tools for the job.  Seriously, what’s it worth to you to have mind blowing orgasms, whenever you desire?  I have a couple hundred dollars invested in my toy and lube collection, and I never felt one bit of buyers remorse for any of it.  Quality toys and lubes are expensive, but they will last for a long time.

Think of it this way:  after months or years, these costs break down to mere pennies per orgasm.  Definitely not too high a price to pay.  I’d pay thousands for this type of experience.



Lube is critical

Yep, and this should go without saying.  There’s no sense in playing unless you have a quality anal lube on hand.  It’s also important to be liberal with lube.  Don’t be frugal or cheap.  Use plenty of it for the best experience.  Lube up the toy AND your rectum before you begin.  Click here to read about my favorite anal lubes.






As I mentioned earlier, I like to have a couple of hours set aside for the massage session itself.  So, before even getting started, I ALWAYS try to have a good bowel movement about an hour before.  This will help to get anything cleared out of my bum, reducing the chances of a mess later.

Then, about 20 minutes before I’m set to begin, I’ll take a long, hot shower.  I’ll pay special attention to my butt hole, making sure it’s totally clean.  The hot water helps me get into a nice state of relaxation, and also helps loosen up those butt and sphincter muscles.  The shower is also a good time to get yourself in the mood by rubbing around down there.

Once you’re clean, it’s GO TIME!


To douche or not to douche?

This is the million dollar question! No, it really isn’t, but prostate play is MUCH more enjoyable when the ass is clean and fresh. And the best way to make that happen is to use a rectal enema bulb or similar device, and douche that asshole.

I’ll be honest and say that I don’t normally douche, unless it’s a special occasion. If it’s just me having a solo wank, I usually don’t bother because my ass stays pretty clean. As long as I had a bowel movement an hour or two beforehand, I’m good to go.

If, however, I’m massaging with my lady, I like things clean down there. Shitty surprises suck when a partner is involved!

So, should you flush your rectum beforehand? That’s entirely up to you. Just remember that a sparkling clean asshole makes the experience SO MUCH BETTER. Read more about douching, and how to do it, here.



Getting into position

There are various positions one can utilize effectively.  Here’s the one that works great for me:  simply lay on your bed, on your side.  Whichever side you’re laying on, pull the knee on your upper leg (the one on top) up toward your chest.  This makes it easy to insert the toy, finger or whatever into your rectum.

Another good position to use is the squat.  It’s just like it sounds.  This is my second favorite, therefore I don’t recommend it for beginners.

Another good one is also the simplest.  Simply lie on your back and pull your feet back toward your butt.  With your knees raised and spread apart, it’s easy to access your rectum.



Ride the wave. Put it on cruise control

Once you have that first orgasm, it’s a simple matter of maintaining what you’re doing to achieve more.  Kind of like hitting the cruise control in your car.  Once I hit that first one, it’s smooth sailing.  I can usually hit at least 3 or four more within the next 5 or 10 minutes.  If I’m REALLY lucky, I’m having too much fun to even count the number.  At that point, I don’t care anyway.





Finishing up

Remember how I told you NOT to touch your penis earlier on this page?  Well, now is the time to do just that.  Once you’ve had your session and achieved your number of orgasms desired, it’s time to come down for the landing.  You can now proceed with your normal masturbation routine.  Personally, these are the fastest orgasms I can ever hope to achieve.  After an hour or more or prostate orgasms, the traditional ejaculation is literally only a few minutes away.

It’s BIG.  It’s intense.  It’s very satisfying.  Be sure to have a towel ready for cleanup.  YOU.  WILL.  NEED.  IT.  These particular ejaculations are at least twice as big as a normal one.


How about some prostate erotica?

Check out my really hot story called “The Passion of the Prostate: an Erotic Love Story.”  It might make you jizz in your pants.  In fact, I have a growing archive of erotic stories.  Check ’em out!


Wait…there’s more!


Recommended reading




Author: Dave

Hi, I'm Dave. And I'm fiend?!? No, not really. But, Kinda :) Actually, I'm just your average white collar guy who happens to have a soft spot for sexy WOMEN and HOT sex toys. Hence, these are my chosen topics for this blog. I'm fluent in 3 languages: English, Profanity and Sarcasm. I own a number of male sex toys, and my personal "toybox" is growing rapidly. But prostate toys are my favorite. So, enjoy the ride, and drop me a line if you have something to say!

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  1. Nice website!

    I just got a prostate vibe in the mail and unfortunately, the thing is too big to fit. It’s obviously going to take a while to be able to take it inside, even though it’s not THAT big. I tried for 4 hours today just to fit it in, and failed miserably. Any tips on stretching so I can fit it? How long is it going to be before I can increase the size I can take? Right now, even a single finger can feel uncomfortable, but I want to experience the fabled big O.

    Post a Reply
    • Dave

      The best tip I can offer is to start with a finger and work your way up. Hard to say how long it will take, as every guy is different. Remember, practice and persistence will pay dividends in the end 🙂

      Post a Reply
  2. hello Dave…what are your tips for using the njoy pure wand…i bought it recently just looking for some tips on the best way to use it…havent tried it yet but want to…the best lube for it to

    Post a Reply
    • Dave

      Good choice on the Pure Wand, one of my favorite toys.

      Since the Wand is stainless steel, you can use any lube you like. If you’re looking for the ultimate in long lasting slipperiness, you can’t go wrong with a silicone lube. Swiss Navy makes a killer lube, check it out here.

      For tips on how to use it, I recommend laying on your back, and using a rocking motion that goes in the direction of your body. Read how I use it, here.

      Post a Reply
      • very cool….thanks for the info…ill try that

        Post a Reply
  3. I still alittle confused on the whole technique do I flex and contract my sphincter muscles or my pc muscles with an anal toy for prostate massage?

    Post a Reply
    • Dave


      You should use your PC muscles.

      Post a Reply
  4. So I tried this last night for the first time and wow. For one thing I never felt like that in my life or never even imagined I could feel like that it was almost too good if that’s it sounds weird but it’s true. I was in complete shock like 4 hours so much happened I was grinding my teeth like crazy and I still am today I was shaking my legs were f****** shaking and seen me in my arms it was like two good man like I felt like I was hooked on some crazy drug.

    What really got me was that I could never could even imagine how good I could actually feel and I couldn’t even get out of the bed for an hour or two like it literally left me speechless woke up today and I’m still in shock. It’s like I’ve discovered this insanely awesome Secret I still don’t even believe it last night was crazy intense but good. Now today I know what to expect and I’m really really really nervous so I only had it for 10 minutes and had to take a break and I can’t stop grinding my teeth are my legs can’t stop shaking it’s late mine says your system is on overload and not saying it’s bad but holy s*** this is so crazy stuff.

    High anxiety when I first start more than I’ve ever had and the weird thing is within seconds all of that goes with it it’s almost like too fast too intense but you want warm it’s freakin crazy on the head to. Other than that I woke up this morning feeling totally different better more energy less stressed like last night I got that high from the pleasure that response I don’t remember and I wasn’t even on drugs.

    It might take some time to get used to it’s almost like learning that you just want five billion dollars that same feeling. Black guy holding a big secret or stressed for pleasure for everything and nobody else knows about it just a select few every aspect of it that’s crazy crazy good though. Like I think about it all day and it’s so awesome but yet when it comes time to do it I would rather jump off a bridge it’s so contradictory it’s weird actually do you ever get used to it like the intensity.. even thinking about it earlier I started to shake and got a bit nauseous can you imagine that nervous over feeling that good like I said it’s a feeling I never had but yeah do you ever get used to it someone or is it like this crazy head games trouble every day til you actually do it.

    Hot last night I spent the first twenty minutes trying it I couldn’t get up for a half hour I can give it like I keep saying I keep saying I can’t believe it it’s like a dream how can I get rid of this insane anxiety crazy for doing it I actually get a bit nervous cuz I know I’m going to feel like good did a lot of drugs but none of them may be nervous that I felt that good will I have her address this is definitely a life-changer on my mood on everything it’s crazy again LOL

    any advice and once again I’m here saying well and grinding my teeth just thinking about it it’s an insane addiction I know. it’s definitely the craziest hand intense pleasure for addiction and it’s drug free my mind can’t get over it addiction what I can say was it’s the same or higher than any drug it’s crazy it literally took me to Extasy actually Beyond ecstasy which I didn’t know existed until last night without taking drugs.

    Post a Reply
    • Dave

      Glad you’re enjoying yourself Timmy!

      Post a Reply
  5. I read your article and tried it last night. As a straight man I was a bit nervous … for about 5 seconds and 4 hours blew by. I was in a really stressful situation with family at the time and it killed the stress oh and the feeling .. my legs were shaking hah it was crazy

    Post a Reply
  6. i just recently got curious about prostate play…i have the aneros helix syn…ive used it a couple of times an its not seeming to work or maybe im doin something wrong…im new to trying this…is this something you have to keep trying in order to have the orgasm that im looking for…i put it in an im doin like it says to do…just nothing happens for me

    Post a Reply
    • Dave

      Hi Dale:

      My apologies for taking so long to get back to you.

      Regarding the Helix Syn…one of the common problems with this toy is that it doesn’t get in there deep enough for some guys to get off, especially tall guys. From correspondence with readers here at Mr. Racy and reading forums elsewhere, guys over 6 feet tall often have troubles with this.

      Since every man is a bit different, taller guys sometimes need a toy that goes deeper into the rectum.

      I don’t know if this is the case for you, but I wanted to throw that out there.

      Post a Reply
  7. Hi, so I first started prostate play when I was about 16 and I really enjoy it, I own an Aneros, the Rocks-off bad boy (cant get it in all the way) and I sometimes use my girlfriends rabbit dildo! I like the full feeling but I have tried and tried and cannot seem to reach orgasm from prostate play alone. What does happen sometimes, is that I feel like I’m reaching the point but I then end up peeing and sometimes pooing. It’s like the intense feeling forces my body to push everywhere… It feels good but also frustrating, like I was so close but not close enough!

    Do you have any tips for me? Surely I must be doing something wrong? Maybe I’m massaging my bladder or just not recognising the right feelings? It’s so frustrating. I love your product reviews by the way!

    Post a Reply
    • Dave

      Hello Jim,

      Glad to hear you’re sticking with it and not giving up! It sounds like you’re really close.

      I have 2 comments:

      1. Have you tried getting TOTALLY relaxed and in the moment? Make sure you follow my preparation guide in this article. Also, since you own an Aneros, make sure you’re squeezing and releasing your pelvic floor muscles. This is what really makes that toy work. I have a quick primer on the squeeze and release in the “how to use” section of my Helix Syn review. Read about that here.

      2. Some men just can’t get off fully with prostate play. I’m not sure this is the case for you, since you seem to be getting really close. Remember, don’t try to force it, or make it happen. Just let it happen. Maybe you just need more stimulation BEFORE you get started? Have your girlfriend get you really hot, or watch some porn, perhaps?

      I wish you the best on your journey! Come back and write me when you get there!

      Post a Reply
  8. Hi my name is Larry
    I have ed I cannot have an orgasm so I’m hoping the prostrate play with help with this I have tried other things with no luck any input on this would be helpful
    Thank you

    Post a Reply
    • Dave

      Hello Larry,

      Sorry to hear about your condition. Prostate massage is definitely an option, and has served many men quite well. However, I dont have personal experience with this, so I cant be of much help.

      However, here is a resource you may find helpful at

      All the best!

      Post a Reply
  9. I’ve tried quite a few times to reach my phone spot but have never gone the big O. I see you recommend 1-2 hours is this to reach the first orgasm or for sever? I have read elsewhere it can take some time. How long should it take for the first one? I use my finger and i reckon I can feel the “walnut” but havn’t reached my goal yet.

    Post a Reply
    • Dave

      Hello Jim:

      That’s a very difficult question, so I can’t give a subjective answer. I really can’t say how long it will take for the first time. It depends on a multitude of things, such as mood, libido, level of excitement, etc. I also suggest investing in a toy, rather than using your finger. From my own personal experience, a finger just isn’t big enough to get me off, unless it’s someone else doing the fingering 🙂

      Post a Reply
  10. Hi! Great information, thanks so much. I’m trying to figure out the best way to use one of these toys on my bf. Should I blow him while it’s in? Or do as you said during solo maturation and just leave it in and not touch his penis till the end. Would soft pressure on the toy feel good?or maybe holding a vibrating bullet on the base so it vibrates? Any info would be great,throw anything at me! I’m ready and willing, but new to male ass play so would love some advice. Thanks!!

    Post a Reply
    • Dave

      Hello May!

      Thanks for stopping by. These are great questions. It’s totally awesome that you want to do this for him. I’m excited for you both! As I mentioned, preparation is key. Make sure you have AT LEAST an hour to do this. Two would be even better.

      In my personal opinion, the preparation and how you turn him on, are even more important than using the toy. So here is how I would proceed, if I were you…

      Assuming he’s new to prostate/anal play, I recommend you start out like solo masturbation. To make it extra special for his pleasure, do a thorough job of warming him up BEFORE you even pop the toy in. Lick him all over. His ass, balls, nipples, ears, etc. Take a shower together, and give all parts of his body extra special attention. Do whatever revs his engine. Just don’t allow him to cum yet. And don’t over stimulate him.

      Once you’ve done all this, bring him back down to earth with a sensual body massage. Rub his shoulders, arms, legs, butt cheeks. Use a pleasant massage oil. The point of this is to get him to relax. So he almost melts and becomes putty in your hands. Remember, YOU are in control here.

      Once he feels like he’s ready, get the toy out. How you use it depends on the type of device.

      Now, to answer your specific questions:
      If it’s a dildo, you’ll be able to move it in and out. Your idea of holding a vibrating bullet at the base is an EXCELLENT idea. He will probably love this!

      If it’s a dedicated prostate massager (like a hands-free model), you probably won’t be able to manipulate it, depending on the device. Just leave it in there and his anal muscles will do the work. In fact, you should avoid touching the toy or his penis. Touching the toy with a vibrator, would be perfectly fine, though. This is a great way to buzz his prostate.

      Whichever type of toy you use, I highly recommend you do the following things: talk to him. caress him. Let him know that this is HIS time to feel good. Let him know how hot he makes you. How much he turns you on. How you want to see him shoot his massive loads. Remember, communication is key. Ask him what feels good. Encourage him to express how he is feeling. This will help you do the best job possible.

      When you’re ready to finish him off, THEN give him the blowjob of his life.

      I took some broad strokes here, since I don’t know the details of your situation. If there’s anything I missed, please write back and I will answer the best I can.

      Last, but not least, come back and let me know how it went!


      Post a Reply
      • Thank you so much for the time you put into your reply! The toy just came in today, so we will be trying it this weekend. I don’t belive I can upload a picture of the toy, but it’s soft silicon 1.5 inch diameter and 4 inch long. My first thought when I saw it was “wow this is pretty thick” I’m wondering if I should start with beads or a plug, as I said before, he takes my finger very easily and isn’t tight and resistant,so this could just be my own paranoia. Also since this is his first time with a toy, should I not keep it in long? And then there’s lube. I love h2o jo, it’s water based and we use that for whatever games we want to play, it’s very thin. Will that do? Or should I get a silicone lube? He’s very submissive and in his submissive state of mind, he won’t tell me if he’s in pain until after we are finished (aside from the fact that he doesn’t mind a little light pain) but I obviously don’t want to cause any damage to such a sensitive area. Now my question about prostate organs… I know, I know, I’m getting a little ahead of myself, but that’s my ultimate goal here. To absolutely utterly blow his mind. I want him itching to get back for more. So what are the basics of giving him a prostate O? I know this is going to take some practice and exploration, but I would like to go into it as educated as possible so I don’t make any mistakes and speed up the prosses to the ultimate goal of giving him the best organs of his life! This Friday will be our night to experiment, I will absolutely let you know how it goes, and probably have more questions! Until Friday I intend on reading your entire site and researching a lot! Any other tips and tricks would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!
        Also, I’m far from close minded, throw anything at me! I want to learn

        Post a Reply
        • Dave

          Hello again, May!

          Congrats on the new toy. I’m sure you two will have “loads” of fun with it! 1.5 inches is a pretty sizable toy for a first timer, so you’ll probably need to get him loosened up before popping it in. Using beads or your finger beforehand would be a good idea. Just pay attention to his verbal and non-verbal cues and you’ll be fine. Just start slow and easy. And take your time.

          Now, to answer your questions:

          Also since this is his first time with a toy, should I not keep it in long?

          Once you get it in there, just keep it in for as long as he likes. The hardest part will be getting it in there. Once it’s in, you’re good to go. Any initial discomfort will probably go away after a few minutes. Just be slow and gentle. Let him set the pace.

          And then there’s lube. I love h2o jo, it’s water based and we use that for whatever games we want to play, it’s very thin. Will that do? Or should I get a silicone lube?

          H2O JO is a great lube. That will work just fine. Just a note, for silicone toys, it’s always best to use a water based lube. If you ever decide to upgrade to a stainless steel toy, then you can try out the silicone lube.

          To absolutely utterly blow his mind. I want him itching to get back for more. So what are the basics of giving him a prostate O?

          The best advice I can give is to use the article on this page as a guideline. This page is really geared toward the solo massage, but the process is essentially the same.

          These are the most important things to remember:
          1) make sure he’s relaxed,
          2) have plenty of time…at least an hour.
          3) leave his penis alone while the toy is in, even if he asks you to suck him off, jack him, or whatever. Remember, you’re in control, and the longer you can hold him off, the harder he will cum. He will thank you later!
          4) Make sure he’s in a comfortable position, whether it’s on the bed, couch, floor…whatever
          5) If you’re lucky and he happens to have some big prostate Os your first time, finish him off with the most bad-ass blowjob you can muster! If you like cum, swallow it all with a naughty smile on your face, and you’ll likely put him over the edge.

          Just don’t expect him to have a mind blowing prostate orgasm this time. In fact it could take many tries before he hits it. Just be patient.

          Oh, and here’s a pro tip that I mention in other places on my blog. Have him do this while the toy is in:

          Have him flex his pelvic muscles (also called PC muscles). Then relax them. It should feel like he’s “lifting” his groin area from the inside. The sensation is similar to when he urinates, and then forces himself to stop. This technique relaxes and contracts the exact same muscle group. Some folks refer to this as kegel exercises. Yes, guys can do these too!

          Also, I now have all my prostate pleasure articles combined into an e-book, for easier, more portable reading. You can download it for free on this page.

          That should get you started! I hope you two have a FABULOUS weekend! All the best.

          Feel free to ask any other questions you may have. This is exciting!

          Post a Reply
  11. Hi Dave,

    I’m a 28yr straight male and I’ve been diagnosed with non-specific chronic prostatitis and I’m very hesitant with trying a prostate massage since ive read alot about how i can be beneficial for my condition by ive never inserted anything into my rectum. Is there any advice you can give me or a step by step guide to help get to giving this a good go? Also how often should a prostate massage be performed?

    Post a Reply
    • Dave

      Hello Mark!

      Thanks for stopping by and reaching out. My answer depends on what you’re trying to achieve with prostate massage. Is your primary goal for sexual pleasure, or to relieve pain/discomfort related to your prostatitis?

      Post a Reply
  12. Hello Dave!

    First I want to thank you for this nice guide.
    I just bought a hands free prostate vibrator and tried it out for about 1.5 to 2 hours. But the whole time I felt like it didn’t hit the right spot at all. The only sensation I felt were the vibrations on my butthole. Do you have any recommendations on how to find the right spot and how I can be sure that I found it?

    Post a Reply
    • Dave

      Hello! And thanks for stopping by.

      This is difficult to diagnose without more details. Could you tell me what vibrator you’re using and the position you’re trying? There is a chance that the vibe you’re using isn’t the right size for you. As a tall guy, it helps when I use something that’s longer.

      In the meantime, here is some general advice.

      I recommend that you do this while laying on your back, with your legs bent and knees up. Probably easiest to do in bed or on a couch. Get yourself lubed up and pop the vibrator in. Now, while it’s in, raise your upper body. Like you’re doing a sit up. Do it slowly and note the sensations. Can you feel a “different” sensation this way? Is there a particular spot that feels better than the others? Perhaps you’ll feel a tingle or other “interesting” sensation. This probably won’t feel pleasurable at first, but it shouldn’t hurt either. The sensation is hard to describe, since it’s a little different for everyone.

      Once you find the right position, you can prop up your back with a pillow to hold it there. Then proceed. You’ll know you’re there if it starts to feel really good after a bit.

      I have more suggestions on this page, things to try if prostate massage isn’t working.

      If this still doesn’t help, feel free to ask more questions. I’ll be happy to help!


      Post a Reply
      • Thanks for your reply.

        I am 182 cm (about 5ft 12in) tall. The product I used is the following:
        (Lumunu Deluxe Silicone Anal Butt plug & remote control)
        I tried pretty much every position that popped up in my mind. Sitting, standing, lying on the back, lying prone…
        Also I tried to find the spot with my middle finger but no luck. Maybe you are right and this toy is just too small for me.
        When my new lube arrives I will tell you whether your instructions to find the spot worked or didn’t work.
        I already read the other article but it only helps if you have already found the spot.


        Post a Reply
        • Dave

          Hey Alex,

          Something that just came to mind…sometimes a willing partner can reach the correct spot for you. I don’t know your personal situation, but that’s definitely an option.

          Also, I took a look at your toy. I’ve never seen that one before, so I’m not familiar with it. Based on the specs, it is a shorter toy. It’s similar in length to the Aneros Helix Syn (read more) and the Aneros Vice (read more), but I’m not convinced that’s your problem. I’d hate for you to buy another device if that’s not the issue.

          Another option is to look into a longer toy. The Njoy Pure Wand (read more) is a great choice if you really like to get in there deep. It’s designed like a long lever, so you could really apply the pressure, if necessary. But this doesn’t vibrate.

          Please let me know how it turns out.

          Post a Reply
          • So the outcome was that I probably couldn’t find the P-Spot. The feeling must be very different, right? I did as you told and tried around a bit more but it doesn’t look like I was lucky. I should probably look for a longer toy then but I want it to be a hands free vibrator.

            Thanks for your help Dave.

          • Dave

            Sorry I couldn’t be of more help. All the best, mate! And don’t give up.

  13. Thank you.
    I’ve been curious about this for some years since a girl I knew told me how she was going to give her man the most intense orgasm by inserting a finger and massaging host prostate.
    I did not find the courage to try it on myself for long time. Until I read this article.
    Five weeks ago I bought one toy and gave him some tries. The first time was good, got that “warm sensation” but no orgasm. I was not worried, after another couple of tries that went wrong (no warm sensation too), I started doubting that was only first-time over-excitation.
    I continued reading around the Internet and I started reading on some forums doctors saying prostate massage does not produce good feelings, and so I started really doubting on the whole thing.
    But I didn’t give up and yesterday on my 6th session I reached a powerful hands-free orgasm after anoint one hour. Unfortunately I did not achieve a second one so after 30 minutes I was exhausted and finished by masturbating myself and that was huge.
    I really thank you for this guide and for the others that are in doubt about this I only can say: it’s true, get relaxed and don’t give up!

    Post a Reply
    • Dave


      This is awesome! I’m so glad my guide was helpful for you. Stop back by and let me know how you’re progressing with your prostate play.



      Post a Reply

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