Unable to reach prostate orgasm? Try these expert tips to get over the hump.

Gentlemen, are you having difficulty achieving male prostate orgasm?

Prostate pleasure is a topic that I’m passionate about.  I love it.  I enjoy all the tingly sensations.  And I ALWAYS look forward to my next super-O.

whynotmeUnfortunately, there are lots of guys who just can’t seem to reach orgasm via prostate stimulation.  They’ve been playing with anal toys and butt plugs, using their fingers, and a whole host of other things, but they just can’t seem to reach the elusive p-spot “O”.  They’ve tried massage with a partner, and while solo.  But nothing happens.  They might almost get there, but, for one reason or another, they just can’t reach that climax they’ve been pining for.


Even I was skeptical at first

Ironically, the very first time I received a prostate rub, I had THE orgasm of the century.   However, I think it had more to do with my state of mind at the time, than anything else.  On that particular day, my girlfriend really put the sexy moves on me, and I probably could have orgasmed from anything at that point!  Read my orgasmic story, The Passion of the Prostate, HERE.

But the next time I tried for it, NOTHING.  So I kept trying.  And trying.  It always felt good, but I just couldn’t hit the big O again.  I experimented with anal plugs, dildos and fingers, but I still couldn’t get there.  In fact, it would be another 3 months and at least 20 sessions before I had another one.  I wasn’t with that sexy girlfriend anymore, so she wasn’t able to help me out…bummer.

Thank goodness I persisted, because after the second month, I was almost ready to toss in the towel and give up on prostate play.  It was just too much work, for no return…




Here’s how to get maximum pleasure!

I decided to educate myself and stop flying by the seat of my pants.  So, I hopped online and did some research.  Imagine that; a man asking for directions!  I wanted to understand the physiology of the male body, particularly the rectal area and prostate.  Surely a more scientific approach would help me get things going.

So I read a few blogs, and some Wiki articles.  I stopped by some of the popular men’s sex toy sites and researched some more.  After grabbing some bits and pieces of information from all over the place, I was able to formulate a plan that would hopefully get me back on track.

The number one thing that helped ME the most?  Relaxation.  I found that planning ahead, and allowing time for myself, was the key.  A preparation routine including a hot shower and some light masturbation became a part of my process.  This allowed me to relax my mind and body, in preparation for the mind numbing orgasms that were soon to come.

I’ve also accumulated the results of my findings into a detailed guide that’s available here, on this blog.  Click here to read more about improving your technique.


Every guy is unique

Men are as varied as the stars and planets in the sky.  A vibrating prostate toy might send me to the ropes every time I use it.  That same toy might not even make you tingle.

Pro tip:  if standard devices aren’t working for you, consider a vibrating toy, or even a dildo.  Sometimes a longer device, like the Tantus P-Spot, or a vibrator can work wonders for a stubborn prostate that won’t give you an orgasm.

This is why it’s important to PRACTICE.  If one technique doesn’t work, try another.  If a certain toy doesn’t work for you, don’t be afraid to try something different.  If you’re really stuck in a rut and don’t know what to do next, you can see what’s working for other guys, or just ask me!



It’s frustrating when p-spot stimulation doesn’t seem to be working. REMEMBER: practice makes perfect. Keep trying and DON’T give up!




If all else fails…

Here are some things to consider:

Some men will NEVER experience orgasm via prostate stimulation

Yes, it’s a fact.

Why do I say that?  Well, lots of guys aren’t really dedicated to the art of it…and yes, it is an art.  It takes practice and patience, neither of which are easy.  I believe this is why so many guys just give up, or don’t even give it a try.  In a nutshell, how bad do you want it???

Are some men unable to have these orgasms?

That’s a tricky question.  I personally believe that ALL men are CAPABLE of experiencing this exotic pleasure, barring a physical or emotional condition that prevents it.  For the remaining disbelievers, I think they just haven’t found the right technique or toy to get them off.  As I said above, it might take some practice.  Some guys naturally are able to have those earth shattering, bucket filling orgasms.  It’s easy for them.  For others…not so much.

Try it with another man

Seriously, if it’s something you’re comfortable with, another guy could work wonders for you. Have a look at this reader submission from a gentleman named Dan, who experienced it for himself. You should also know that Dan is a straight, happily married guy.



Or, you can read some expert advice!

As fate would have it, I’ve received a few messages from guys having some or all of these difficulties.  They were looking for guidance on how to make it happen.  Of course I want to provide a helpful response, so I decided to reach out to some fellow bloggers that know A LOT about prostate massage.

This is what I asked them:

“If you had one piece of advice for guys having trouble reaching prostate orgasm, what would it be?”


EDIT:  I received some great feedback!  THANK YOU to all who participated!  Let’s see what they had to say…


From Ken @ MensHealthCures.com

mens health cures

Ken, over at Men’s Health Cures, has a blog that I visit regularly.  In particular, I like to read through his posts that cover prostate health.  He very thoroughly discusses this, and lots of other topics related to men’s health.  Here’s what he had to say:

Just as women have a G-spot, that spot that provides intense orgasms during sex, men have a P-spot that give them intense prostate orgasms. If men are not hitting their prostate gland during massage, or not hitting it in the right spot, they won’t get the Big O.

Definitely takes relaxation and preparation, but also practice. You need the right size prostate massager to reach the prostate, since it is next to the bladder. I recommend the Aneros Progasm to my readers for two reasons. The longer and larger size, and also the perineum tip. Massaging the perineum during sex or massage definitely takes things up a notch.


From Chris @ PleasureMechanics.com:

pleasure mechanics

For many guys, it takes awhile to feel intense sensations during prostate stimulation. Usually this is because they rush in and don’t take the time to warm up the area and build arousal. Prostate stimulation is best done while already aroused, and it is essential to spend time warming up the external anal area and only going inside at a pace that feels good to the body. Never push past pain to get inside!

Prostate stimulation isn’t just about massaging the prostate gland itself. It is a full erotic experience that offers you the chance to stimulate the entire sexual system at once. If you skip ahead to direct prostate stimulation, chances are you won’t feel much of anything!


From Guy @ HesNaked.com



I received a great response from Guy, over at hesnaked.com.  Here’s what he had to say:

…even I had doubts about my own prostate, and it wasn’t until I found the correct products and learned how to be properly comfortable with anal stimulation I got anything out of it myself.

My best tips – other than being comfortable – would be to try something completely different, if it doesn’t initially feel the way you were hoping. I started out with silicone toys that mostly felt awkward and bland. Also I was afraid to try the firmer stuff – but I have since then shifted towards metal toys and I’m finally able to enjoy it.

In my experience, it is best to start out with the simple, understated toys and experiment from there. Plugs usually doesn’t do much for the prostate, but dildos on the other hand can be very effective tools. Even more so than some of those crazy shapes that claim to activate the prostate in a snap.


Best for 2016




Wait…there’s more!


Just for fun!

erotic short stories


Author: Dave

Hi, I'm Dave. And I'm a....sex fiend?!? No, not really. But, Kinda :) Actually, I'm just your average white collar guy who happens to have a soft spot for sexy WOMEN and HOT sex toys. Hence, these are my chosen topics for this blog. I'm fluent in 3 languages: English, Profanity and Sarcasm. I own a number of male sex toys, and my personal "toybox" is growing rapidly. But prostate toys are my favorite. So, enjoy the ride, and drop me a line if you have something to say! Hey hey...I just joined Reddit! /u/mrracy

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  1. Hello Dave,

    I have been having prostate play Noe for about two months and like the guy who commented above I feel extremely aroused and hard after an hour in but just as I feel relaxed and near my body seems to get slightly tense and I lose the feeling. I am using the lelo hugo which is good but could I benefit from something different? I am determined to get there and won’t give up just wish it would come sooner.



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  2. After I have gone through all the steps and have my toy inserted, how often do I contract my muscles to stimulate my prostate? I guess I am a little anal (no pun intended) but things work better for me if I know what to do. Do I do contractions constantly, hold and count, multiple times in a row….just wondering. Thanks Dave. I really like your site.

    Post a Reply
    • Dave

      Hello Glenn:

      This experience is a bit different for every guy, but if I were you, I would experiment with different patterns. For example, try constant contractions with the hold and count. Beware that your muscles will get tired if they aren’t used to this.

      If that doesn’t work, change it up a bit with hold and contract. Then release and wait 20 seconds and repeat. Just experiment until you find what works for you.

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  3. The first time I was introduced to anything having to do with the prostate was when I was about 36 years old. I was having an odd sensation in my prostate. Following and exam a urologist said he needed to collect some fluid or precumm from my prostate and have it tested. He did what is called milking the prostate. So as I stood he sat in a chair massaging my prostate with one finger while he held my penis in the other hand waiting for the fluid to come out. This went on for a while then it was over. As it turned out there was not anything wrong with my prostate. But after that I bought an Aneros Helix to milk my own prostate. I never had any type of orgasm with it. I did sometimes have a very pleasant or relaxing feeling stay in my prostate and sometimes in my balls for awhile after I finished with the Helix. So now to my question. I was wondering if I got something bigger like the Tantus P-Spot or perhaps better yet something like the Mangasm Voyage Large Prostate Simulator, if I would have a better chance at having the prostate orgasm. I read the reviews for the Voyage and the guys on their reviews make it sound too good not to try. So what are your thoughts? I don’t want to buy something and spend time only to find out that it was all for nothing. Alan.

    Post a Reply
    • Dave

      Hello Alan,

      I have never used the Mangasm Voyager. Although it looks like a pretty decent toy for a fairly low cost. It’s hard to say if something bigger would work for you, since I don’t know your situation. For me personally, bigger does indeed work better. Especially with the P-Spot, it’s not only big, but long. I can really get it up in there when I need to go deep. P-spot is also very inexpensive. I’d give that a go, or go for the Voyager and get vibration with it. Happy massaging!

      Post a Reply
  4. Hey Dave,
    I’m a relatively new reader to your blog since I started experimenting with my new desire to try to discover the big O. But like many guys I have been met with the relenting dissapointment that often comes with it. I’m sure guys like me can relate to having a very elusive p spot that is almost impossible to pinpoint and for me I have only ever caught faint shimmers of it through touch. Even after I bought a p spot vibrator I was still having difficulty pinpointing it. I continued to read through your blogs and admit it was partially a relaxation problem. But even taking my time and giving myself plenty of it I still feel I’m not getting anywhere. I’m not giving up but some advice would be much appreciated. I’m sure I’m not the only guy having this problem too where no matter what they try nothing seems to work in terms of finding their p spot.

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    • Dave

      Hey Luke,

      Thanks for stopping by! My first thought is this: is your toy long enough? Or perhaps you need something with a bit more girth. My advice may vary, depending on the toy(s) you are using.

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  5. Hi Dave,

    I came across your blog and I’m glad I did. I have been exploring this area for about 2 years. My first prostate orgasm was in October 2014. I didn’t really know what to expect that time. I was using the Aneros HelixSyn and lots of lube. It took me two hours to finally reach that sensational deep orgasm. I didn’t expect the prostate fluid because I wasn’t even erect. It is truly a completely separate feeling compared to a penile stimulated orgasm. The feel comes from deep inside and it is fantastic.

    But, as you mentioned in your blog, I was trying for the next super orgasm and I couldn’t get to that climax again. I tried in vain for months and got really close. The heart was racing and I would be shaking. But, after a while the feeling dissipated and I would stop.

    It is true you have to be in the right mind frame and sexual arousal. I’ve also played around with semen retention so I had a build up for months. This past week I felt my prostate was really tingling and it was begging to be massaged so I got on the bed, lubed up and stuck the aneros in there. I was using a bit of my finger to swirl the head on the prostate. But, just slightly. after awhile I felt the shakes and my heart started pounding uncontrollably. It started to feel so good. But, I started to tense up was, rushing to get there, and the feeling subsided. So I took deep belly breathes to relax and when I did, my prostate was alive again with tingles. With every breath and movement brought me closer and closer. Finally I reached the climax and it was so intense. More intense then the one in October. The aneros was going crazy with the contractions. It was truly amazing. It’s hard to believe that we men have the capability to reach such a climax. You feel that your prostate has come alive after a long sleep. It was ever tingling afterward and your mind tends to go back to relive that experience.

    If most men don’t experience this type of orgasm for whatever reason, they are truly missing out. But, it is good to know that we are a small group of men that have experienced this kind of feeling, it makes me feel like I am part of an elite group.

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