Look at you there, looking for how to bottom. You must be terrified and excited at the same time!
Well, first off, welcome to the club—you’re gonna love it!
And don’t be scared, anal sex doesn’t hurt if you know how to go about it, and that’s just what we’re here to tell you.
Obviously, bottoming is most popular among gay men, but folks of all genders are doing it (yes, even straight men!), so there must be something there.
Our team here has combined years of experience and research to bring you this guide to bottoming with ease, so sh*t doesn’t go south for you (literally!) when you try it.
Let’s go.
How to Bottom: 10 Steps to Happier Anal Sex
1. Start With What You Eat
What you eat plays a big role in how easy and comfortable you will be during anal sex.
You want your digestive system to be well balanced and your poop nice and hard so your anal canal isn’t filled with debris and everything yucky.
To achieve this, you’ll need to start eating a healthy, fiber-rich diet if you aren’t already.
Foods that are good for bottoming are:
- Vegetables & fruits
- Brown rice
- Beans and whole grains
- Nuts
- Metamucil fiber supplements
Foods you want to AVOID before anal sex:
- Large fatty meals
- Spicy foods
- Foods you’re intolerant or allergic to
- Cheese and dairy foods
The No1 habit that helps you flush out your system regularly is drinking plenty of water, so STAY HYDRATED.
Of course, you don’t have to make changes to your eating habits. You can lead your life as you see fit, but anal sex will be much easier (and better!) for you and your partner if you make small changes to your diet.
2. Book a Meeting With Your Toilet
This one’s a no-brainer, but we still had to include it. Pooping before any kind of anal play makes it much easier.
Getting rid of what’s inside is gonna make much more space for your backdoor guest, and it will reduce the chances of it getting dirty.
It will also make you feel much more confident.
You don’t have to force yourself to go if you don’t have to, but aim for your anal sex times to come after the times you’ve gone for a visit to the toilet.
3. Give Anal Douching a Go
If you’re new to anal sex, you’ve probably noticed tons of articles suggesting all sorts of stuff you NEED to have or do in order to bottom. Anal douching is in each one, and they make it seem like it’s some kind of science.
It’s not, and no, anal douches are NOT MANDATORY.
Most people who have been practicing anal sex don’t actually douche every time they have sex—they just eat healthily and know when their booty is ready to go.
And so will you, in time.
Still, anal douches are kinda dope, and they can make you feel more confident, especially if you’re a newbie. And they’ll make your butt nice and clean for its special guest.
Bulb-style anal douches are the easiest to use.
Here’s how to use it:
- Fill up the bulb with warm water
- Lube the tip, put it into your butt, and just squirt the water inside (it’s not the most glamorous feeling, but you’ll get used to it)
- Keep the water inside your butt for about a minute or two, and then ‘poop’ it out to the toilet
- Repeat until the water you poop out is clear, and you’re good to go
If you’re really feeling self-conscious, and you want to make sure your butt is squeaky clean, you can get one of those shower attachment enema kits—those will clean the shit out of your butt, like, literally.
There are even shower enemas with dildo attachments!
4. Don’t Force It
You could be freshly pooped, clean yourself thoroughly with a douche, feel sexy, and when you go ahead and start, your butt is suddenly like ‘no’. We’re not having this.
It happens.
Your body may just not be feeling it, no matter how much your mind wants it.
Don’t force it on those days—there’s plenty of time. Your muscles tend to be more tense if you’re feeling stressed. And if your muscles are stressed, anal sex can hurt, and you’re in for a bad experience.
Only bottom when you want it and when your body wants it, too.
5. Relax and ‘Push Out’
That brings us to our next part—you will want to make sure you’re relaxed during anal play, or else it’s not going to be very enjoyable. And you’ll want to be proactive about it.
There are several things you can do to make sure your body is completely relaxed, like breathing deeply and staying mentally in the moment.
If you’re into mindfulness and meditation, you’ll know how to roll. Breathing in deeply, exhaling, and immersing yourself in the moment completely.
There’s also a hack you could try!
As the toy or penis is going in, you push out gently as if you were going to poop. It sounds weird, we know, but this movement opens up your butt, making room for the poop that’s about to go out.
That means more space for whatever’s going in.
Being relaxed, breathing properly, and pushing out are the three musketeers of easy anal sex.
6. Start Easy (A Little Thing Called Anal Training)
Don’t just let your partner stick it to you right away! ‘Go big or go home’ is NOT the name of the game when it comes to anal sex. Anal sex is not like vaginal sex, where penetration can just happen without preparation.
Anal training is a thing.
Our butts weren’t primarily designed for anal sex, so we need to prepare them for it and get them all loosened up. We do this by starting with smaller things, like a finger.
A LUBED finger.
Once that starts to feel all nice and easy, you’re ready for another finger… or perhaps a small dildo or one of the best male sex toys.
Give your butt a little time to adjust before you go on to the main course.
Some bottoms also like to play with butt plugs for half an hour to an hour before game time. You can play with your partner, too, as foreplay to build up to the real deal.
I’d recommend a small butt plug to start.
There are even anal training kits that train your butt to progressively bigger sizes. And you know what they say—practice makes perfect, and it’ll make you into a size queen (or king!) in no time!
Here’s our favourite Anal Training Kit we recommend.
7. Lube Is the Name of the Game
THE most important thing you need to bottom is LUBE. And you’ll need lots of it. You’ll also need to know your lube and which one to use.
There are 3 main types of lubes:
- Water-based lubes – This is the most common type of lube, and it’s the best one to combine with sex toys and condoms as it can go with all types of sex toys. BUT water-based lubes are the least effective, and they dry up the fastest.
- Silicone-based lubes – These are long-lasting and safe to use with condoms. They’re the best option for anal sex, but they’re incompatible with sex toys made of silicone as they can cause sex toys to degrade over time.
- Oil-based lubes – Long-lasting lubes which can be used with most sex toys BUT NOT with latex condoms as the lube will melt them.
Oil-based lubes are excellent when learning how to bottom with sex toys. For having anal sex with condoms, turn to silicone-based lubes, like Gun Oil Silicone Lube, a favourite of gay men.
Still, a cheap water-based lube is a decent alternative but it may not feel as good or last as long.
8. Condoms Are Never a Bad Idea
Condoms may not be a lot of fun, but they sure are very helpful. Obviously, you can’t get pregnant by anal sex or at all if you’re a gay man. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV.
No one wants to be slapped in the face with a terrible diagnosis like that.
Find more information about HIV Prevention.
So, BE RESPONSIBLE. There are condoms made specifically for anal sex—they’re stronger than the usual ones. You can use water-based and silicone-based lubes with them to avoid infections.
Using condoms while having anal sex is also better for your confidence if you’re bottoming for the first time. You won’t be that self-conscious about your partner’s member getting all dirty. And it’s much better to end up with a dirty condom than a dirty penis.
Just DON’T USE oil-based lube with latex condoms—it will destroy it.
We can’t stress that enough.
9. Some Bottoms Swear By PrEP
Ever heard of PrEP? PrEP, or pre-exposure prophylaxis, is a drug some bottoms use to reduce their chances of catching HIV.
It is highly effective at preventing HIV transmission, much more effective than condoms. You can only get it with a prescription, and using it would guarantee you wouldn’t catch HIV in a life-threatening manner.
HOWEVER, it doesn’t protect you from other sexually transmittable diseases, and it shouldn’t be a replacement for responsible sexual behavior.
10. Remember… The Bottom Is in Charge of Anal Sex
Tops can act all high and mighty till kingdom come (or should we say cum?), but it’s the bottoms who are the boss when it comes to anal sex.
Bottoms are the ones who get the final say on:
- When (anal) sex starts
- When sex ends
- How fast and how far the top can go
- Choosing anal sex positions
- How long sex lasts
In sex, communication is EVERYTHING, and even more so when it comes to anal sex. Your top should always be looking out for whether you’re good down there.
If he doesn’t or makes you feel like you’re not a good bottom for setting boundaries, get outta that relationship faster than a speeding bullet.
5 Things to Know When Learning How to Bottom
A part of learning how to bottom is accepting that shit happens. Literally. So, here are some things to keep in mind when bottoming.
1. Never Go Ass to Vagina
If you have a vagina and are having anal sex, don’t go ass to vagina. NEVER.
There’s stuff in your butt (no matter how well you douche) that you don’t want in your vagina, and that includes bacteria that can do a number on your coochie.
2. Don’t Be Poop-Paranoid
Whoever wants inside the loving embrace of a butt should know and respect that it’s poop’s home. It’s just how it is. And most tops know this, and they don’t mind getting a little dirty.
So, don’t be paranoid about a little poo-poo—good lovers never are. And don’t let it ruin the pleasure.
3. Towels Help
You know things are getting heated when there’s a towel on the bed!
You don’t have to have a towel, of course, but they do help with anal sex and sex in general. You don’t want all that lube and bodily fluids to end up on your nice sheets.
4. Some Positions Allow for Better Bottoming
Everyone’s different, so what position is best for anal sex will depend on you. Play around and try different ones to see what works and what doesn’t. Here are some positions that work for many people:
- Riding/cowgirl
- Spooning
- Lap dance
- Doggy style (ass in the air!)
5. Know the Risks of Bottoming on Drugs
Saying ‘don’t do drugs’ would be the easiest stance and definitely the best way to go about it. However, drunken nights and sex drugs are part of many people’s lives, so we wanted to give them a heads up.
So here comes your heads up—besides being harmful to your health, drugs, and alcohol can lower your ability to detect pain. So, you won’t be able to know when your butt has had enough, and you may wake up to a painful backside.
Have fun, but be careful.
Learning How to Bottom With Ease Is a Breeze
There you have it—your short guide on how to bottom with ease. See? It’s not that hard! Even if it seems daunting to you now, you’ll get the hang of it in time, you’ll see.
And when you do, you’re in for a whole world of good times.
We hope we’ve helped and wish you the best of luck on your anal sex journey!
