In recent years (maybe since that Sex and the City Episode with Samantha and her girlfriend) learning how to make a woman squirt seems to have become the holy grail of female sexual pleasure. Every hetero guy I’ve talked to the last five years seems to have been chasing female ejaculation. Some claiming they can make any female squirt. Some claiming it’s not a real thing; they’ve never been able to make her squirt.
I don’t think that all sex should be about ending with penetration. Sometimes it’s good for it to be purely about pleasuring your partner. Trying to give her a squirting orgasm can be a great way to spend some time focusing on her.
The following article are all things that work for me, and how I think of squirting orgasms. I have done research and spoken to other ladies but overall this is my opinion, and I am just one woman, not all women.
It takes time and effort!
I’ve already said it but making a woman squirt will take time and effort. You need to be willing to put the work in. This isn’t going to be something you can fit in when you have a spare ten minutes…well at least not the first few times. Your lady needs to be relaxed.
In my case that would mean:
- NOT telling me you intend to make me squirt
- NOT giving me an exact and somewhat clinical description of how you are going to accomplish it
- NOT mentioning any thing about it…at all
Because if I know that is your goal, I get so worried that it won’t happen…then I don’t. I overthink it and get out of the relaxed headspace I need to be in.
Now that she’s putty in your hands, finish her off with one of these: a SONA by Lelo.
Her clitoris will thank you.
The first time I squirted I had no idea that’s what he wanted, in fact I didn’t even know it was a real thing. I though female ejaculation (squirting) was a myth. We’d been ‘playing around’ for about an hour; I was covered in some of the most delicious ‘love bites’ in various places (including three on my inner thigh that had rocked me right to the edge of orgasm without him touching my clit), my nipples were pink and sore from his mouth and fingers.
He had been slowly warming me up; his hands, fingers, mouth and tongue all over my body. I’d already come multiple times, and was in that wonderful place where I could barely remember my own name, when suddenly I felt an intense feeling rush through me. My entire body felt like it tensed and released. My legs went floppy and I swear my eyes rolled back in my head. I felt like I was a kite and someone had snipped my string so I could float away. I couldn’t even move for a minute, and when I did it was as if all my bones had been removed. I felt languid, and oh so relaxed.
When I could finally speak coherently I asked him, “What was that?”. He grinned proudly at me, “You just squirted. Haven’t you done it before?”
I have squirted since (a few times), and even recently managed to cause myself to squirt with the use of what I am now calling my magic vibrator. Despite those subsequent squirting orgasms, that first time is one of those memories I will remember when I am old and grey, and have forgotten most other things. It was five years ago and I still recall it in great technicolor detail. While things didn’t work out with the guy, that memory is a wonderful thing, that even him turning out to be a lying cheating shit can’t change.
Let’s learn to make her squirt
My plan here is to give you some of the things you can do to potentially give your lady a squirting orgasm. However, please remember that nothing is fool-proof, and with squirting much of it relies on her being relaxed and not overthinking things. I know I said that for me talking about it at the start isn’t helpful but making sure (maybe a few days before) that she knows about female ejaculation, and how it feels to experience it.
Step #1: Make her feel at ease
I think many women haven’t squirted because when they get the pressure build-up (that feels very similar to the need to pee) they stop things as they think they need to go to the bathroom. We are so busy worrying about accidentally peeing ourselves during sex (or any other bodily function that might happen) that we can’t relax enough to really let go.
In reality that ‘need to pee’ feeling is the g-spot engorging and filling with fluid. Which is a good thing when you want to squirt. A good way to help prevent this worry (especially as you need to be well-hydrated for squirting to happen) is to make sure your lady goes to the bathroom before you start getting sexy. This will help alleviate the worry of accidents.
I’ve said a lot about the lady and how she needs to be relaxed. You want her to be in the moment; not thinking about what to make for dinner, or whether she can get that report for work finished by Monday, or if her stomach is sticking out. To do this you need to take some time to help her relax. One of the best ways to do this, if she’s okay with it, is a nice sexy massage.
I’m not talking about a pummeling heavy sports type massage, that is not going to work in this situation, you don’t want her to feel bruised. Take your time, long slow sensual strokes that get her nice and mellow, are what you’re looking to do. I find a nice scented massage oil is great, I love vanilla because I find it quite a soothing scent, but you might like something fresher and not as sweet. Again this is when knowing your partner well will come in handy.
Step #2: Foreplay is important!
Next up is foreplay. As I said earlier the first time I squirted we had been ‘playing around’ for at least an hour. Again you need to take your time; kiss her, kiss her neck, nibble, lick, suck her neck (if she likes that – I know some ladies don’t like their necks touching). Move to her breasts, gently squeeze, skim over her nipples, kiss her some more, lick and suck her nipples, play with them…kiss her again.
Remember the goal here isn’t to get to the finish line as quickly as possible. What you want is her melting, relaxed, and totally in the moment.
Step #3: Take your time
Stick with the neck, breasts and kissing until she is writhing. You’ll need to pick up on her body language; look for the unspoken signals that she is more than ready for you to move on. This could happen quickly, or take a while. But either way don’t rush, you need her to be ready for you to move further down her body.
Slowly kiss your way down her torso, if she has any sensitive spots that you know drive her wild, take some time working on them. I have an area just above my bikini line that is guaranteed to make me shiver, and catch my breath. Even just the lightest touch will cause a reaction (in a good way).
When you finally get to her cunt, you want to spend some time working on her clit. If you can give her a few clit orgasms first that will help even more with the relaxation. She should be good and wet by now but if she’s not (some women just don’t get wet for whatever reasons) add some good quality lube.
Start off with one finger, checking she’s okay and well relaxed. Then add a second finger, for me two fingers is enough but if she likes to feel fuller or more stretched you can add a third finger. You can thrust in and out for a little while still using your mouth on her clit some more.
Step #4: Work that g-spot!
The next step can vary in execution but is generally all about working the g-spot. First I’ll explain what works for me personally (and for other ladies I’ve spoken to), then I will tell you the other methods I have been told about. This is all about internal pressure; two fingers pushed in as far as they will go and then curled inwards slightly, so they are pressing forwards.
Once they are settled on the g-spot (this area will feel slightly rougher and more spongey than everything else) keep them in place and rock them, increasing speed and pressure until squirting orgasm occurs.
You can also thrust in and out with the fingers angled the same way as mentioned before, so you are repeatedly pressing against the g-spot. The key seems to be speed and pressure.
Another method that works well, especially if she is quite tight, is using a single finger to massage the g-spot in small circles.
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Step #5: When she squirts…
When she squirts this can happen in a few ways, including:
- sometimes around the fingers – running over them and out over your hand
- sometimes you will feel the initial gush and when you remove the fingers the squirting will follow
A final piece of advice
My final piece of advice is for you to be very aware that she may need some after care. As I explained earlier my limbs went all loose and wobbly. I still had trouble standing up ten minutes later. I was also feeling hyper-sensitive, and had gotten quite dry.
This meant I did not want him to touch me in a sexual way, I certainly couldn’t cope with his hand near my cunt. He did move me onto the bed and put a pillow under my head, then he snuggled next to me and stroked me very gently. He also brought me a glass of water, which once I could move I really appreciated.
For more great squirting tips, check out 5 Fabulous Tips to Make Any Woman Squirt Easily at The Stallion Style.
Key points to remember:
- Make sure she is relaxed
- Take your time
- Make sure your fingernails are short, clean, and trimmed with no sharp bits
- Go slow and ‘warm her up’
- Massage or thrust the G-spot
- After care
This is supposed to be fun, and bring pleasure to your lady, so enjoy yourself!
After she squirts, you can have a happy ending anytime you desire with a Fleshlight sex toy. They’re designed specifically for guys! I personally use one and it gets me off every time.
Further kinky reading
- Figging: your next spicy kink.
- What is tantric sex? Here’s a man’s guide to show you how
- Breathplay: yes, auto asphyxiation and sex DO go together.
- Bedroom domination: a valuable tool for every guy’s kink repertoire.
Contributed by Horny Geek Girl.