For the ULTIMATE male orgasm, try prostate massage!

“Don’t worry,” she said. “Just sit back, relax and enjoy the ride, Dave”

Those were the words of an old flame right before she blew my mind with a prostate massage. It was my first. She popped my cherry, so to speak. I knew right then and there that my sex life would never be the same.

Today you’re going to learn everything I know about prostate play. The whole kit and caboodle. After a few hundred orgasms, I’m sharing my findings with the world.

Now you can be a sex superstar too.


WARNING. Extreme pleasure awaits.


Table of contents

  1. What is prostate massage/milking?
  2. How does it feel?
  3. How do I find my prostate?
  4. What is internal massage?
  5. External massage?
  6. Will I get an erection?
  7. Will it give me an orgasm?
  8. Should it make me cum?
  9. How do I play safe?
  10. Is anal douching necessary?
  11. Does it mean I’m gay, or less of a man?


1. What is prostate massage/milking?



Throughout this post, I’ll be using the terms massage and milking interchangeably. To me, they are one and the same.

Also, you’ll notice I use the term P-Spot frequently. That’s short for prostate.


Why do it?

Because it feels amazing, and you can do it solo if you wish.

The idea here is to rub and apply mild pressure to the area around the prostate.

This is awesome for a couple of reasons:

Emotionally it allows me to feel primal, erotic sexual sensations that cannot be experienced via traditional sex or masturbation. I also like the feeling of doing something taboo, naughty or frowned upon. It gets me off. It feels exciting to me!

Physiologically it feels so good because my prostate, and anal cavity in general, is a VERY sensitive area, full of nerve endings. Even light, manual stimulation can be enough to make me blow a load. Seriously. Like with the emotional aspect, the act of physically placing something in my ass to get me off is pretty damn exciting, in addition to the excellent physical sensations!


Too old or too young?

Nope and nope. You are NEVER too old or young to enjoy this erotic pleasure. What you do with your body and pleasure is your business. If it feels good…just do it! Who cares whether you’re 18 or 85?


It’s best with a partner!

There’s no better way to enjoy prostate milking than with your lover or friend. A trusted partner can apply more consistent pressure and hit those “difficult to reach” areas much better than you can when flying solo.

Know that communication is critical for this, as you will need to let your partner know what feels good and what doesn’t.

Think of it as psychological submission. Having another person (girlfriend or boyfriend) massage your p-spot is a mind blowing experience. By laying back and letting them do their thing, you’re essentially submitting to this person and allowing them to dominate you. Excellent for the Sub or the Dom that just needs a change of pace.

Briefly passing sexual control of my body over to another person was a difficult, yet necessary part of my journey to orgasmic liberation. It completely changes the experience, for the better. I encourage you to try the same!



2. The feels

Here is how prostate play makes ME feel.

At the very beginning, after the finger is inserted and the massage starts, I feel a “buzz” that envelopes the entire mid section of my body. From my thighs to the upper abdomen. I can’t say it feels awesome at this point, and if I’m not completely relaxed, it’s a bit uncomfortable. However, a few deep breaths will make the discomfort pass.

As the session progresses, the nudging and bumping of the finger against my prostate feels divine. I can actually feel sensations in my penis, although it’s not being touched. Very odd, but wickedly erotic.

If a vibrating stimulator is being used, the sensations are even more intense. For me, when it’s done right, I have an urge to pee, but I never do. I have literally no control when I cum…it just happens. I’ve found it’s best to just enjoy, relax and let it happen.

When I’m getting close to climax, a very warm feeling comes over me. It kinda feels like lukewarm chocolate is being poured over my midsection! Strange but true. At this point, I know it’s VERY close.

This whole process, from start to finish can take as little as 10 minutes, up to an hour or more. It totally depends on my state of mind, my level of relaxation and the skill of the person performing the massage.

Like any other sexual activity, a little foreplay can enhance the experience and makes things happen MUCH faster.




3. How do I find my prostate?

You need a destination before beginning a journey…

Here’s a step by step guide to help you locate it:

  1. Have a bowel movement.  This will ensure your rectum is cleaned out and ready to go.
  2. Wash up, or take a shower.  Anal play is best when everything is clean down there.
  3. Trim those nails!  File down any sharp edges.  The last thing you want to do is cut or nick yourself.
  4. Get into position.  I recommend you simply lie on your back, with knees bent, and feet pulled back toward your butt.  Placing a pillow under your butt is helpful.
  5. Put a bit of lube (read more about those here) on your index finger and/or anus
  6. Stick that index finger in your rectum, or have a partner do it for you
  7. GENTLY slide it in to about the second knuckle.  You may have to go a little deeper.  All men are different.
  8. Curl the tip of your finger up, toward your belly button
  9. You may need to feel around a bit.  When you’re in the right spot, you’ll feel a “different’ sensation.  Not necessarily pleasureable, just different.


Locate your prostate. Find your male G spot. source:



Here’s a great instructional video

This is a demonstration on how to find it, using a plastic drink bottle. It sounds weird, but watch the video and you’ll understand.



Things to consider

You won’t be able to touch the prostate directly.  The rectal wall is like a barrier.  The pressure you apply with your finger pushes the rectal wall, which transmits pressure to the prostate gland.

Sometimes it’s good to “warm up” first.  Massaging your anus and/or perineum can get you in the mood and loosen things up before you take the plunge.  This is also referred to as external prostate massage; read about that in the next section below.

Don’t just plunge your finger into your rectum.  It’s best to start slow, especially if you’re feeling stressed, or not totally relaxed.  By placing the pad of your index finger (not the tip) onto your anus and taking some deep, meditative breaths, you can make the process a little easier on yourself.  Once you’re ready, THEN you can put it in there the rest of the way.

If you’re having a hard time reaching or finding it, another guy might be able to help you out. Who knows a prostate better than another man? Check out this reader submission from a guy who’s experienced it.



4. Internal prostate massage

There are two ways to enjoy prostate play. Internally and externally. If sticking things in your ass for pleasure doesn’t interest you, go ahead and jump to the next section and read about external massage.

BUT DON’T DO THAT.  Internal is the way to go! Why? Because it feels the best and is the best way to get off.


So you’re ready to stick something up your butt?

You have two choices here: fingers or sex toys.

Either one will work, but a specialized device called a prostate toy (my top recommendations here) will make the experience easier and more pleasant.

After sticking things in my ass for a few years now, I’ve learned a few things.

  1. Start small. A finger is a great way to get acquainted.
  2. There is no substitute for a specialized prostate toy that’s designed for the job.
  3. Use plenty of lube. Suggestions for every imaginable type can be found here.

I have a separate post that discusses internal stimulation and how to use a toy, right here. Make sure you check that one out, as the guide is very detailed and has LOTS of reader commentary at the bottom. Truly a must read post.


5. External prostate massage


If you’re not comfortable with using a prostate toy or sticking things inside your bum, another way to go is external prostate massage.  Anal penetration is not required with this method.

The P-spot is rubbed from the outside, usually by applying pressure to the perineum.

The perineum is an erogenous zone for both men and it’s located between your scrotum and anus, between your legs. See the image below.

This area is also referred to as the “taint.”  If you’re feeling around down there, it’s that area that feels like it has a raised “ridge”.  The prostate is located directly above this area.

Before we get started, I’ll offer one caveat: this method isn’t NEARLY as effective as the internal method (sticking things in your butt). There is a greater distance between the sweet spot and the outside of the body. This makes it harder to hit.

Yes, it still feels good. But the sensations are much less intense. In fact, in my opinion, it’s difficult to reach orgasm this way. Your chances of having a mind bending, body shaking orgasm are much less.


Here’s how to do it

If you’re doing it by yourself (solo), the easiest way is to use your fingers.  Here is the method I use, and recommend to others. The first two steps are identical to preparing for an internal session:

– It’s easiest to do this while laying on your back, in a comfortable location.  I find that my bed is the best place.

– Get yourself relaxed.  Meditate, listen to erotica, listen to soothing music, read erotic stories, etc.  Whatever it takes to get you into a calm, clear state of mind.  I also like to perform breathing exercises, as this helps tremendously.

– Use only 3 fingers:  ring, middle and index.  Hold them closely together, so they are touching each other.

– While laying on your back, with your knees up and feet on the bed, place your fingers on your perineum and apply some firm, but gentle pressure.  Do this until you find the right spot.  If you haven’t done this before, it may take a bit to locate the proper area

– Once you’re in the “zone”, I find it works best to perform it in sets or reps.  Similar to repetitions that a weightlifter would do for their workout.  For me, a set would be massaging the spot slowly but firmly 6 times in a counter clockwise motion.  Follow this with a set of the same number of repetitions, except move clockwise.

Perform these repetitions many times, for as long as you feel comfortable.

You will want to experiment with various pressures or motions.  What works good for me may not work well for you



How to make it even better!

I’ve found that using this technique DURING masturbation will significantly enhance my orgasm!

Here’s how I do it:  when I’m close to reaching climax (within 30 seconds of ejaculation) I start with the massage technique described above.  I continue until I finish.

It will take some practice to get the timing right, but once you do, you’ll find that the intensity of your orgasms will increase significantly.  They’ll also have a longer duration.

Sometimes the climax is so intense that it leaves me physically drained for several minutes afterwards.


6. Will I get an erection?

Probably. I get one almost every single time. But remember, nothing is abnormal here. You may get a monster erection. You may stay limp as a freshly boiled noodle.

Prostate pleasure has nothing to do with having an erect penis.

The resulting pleasure is pretty much the same whether I’m hard or soft. This is the beauty of this activity.


BONUS: Are you a guy who suffers from erectile dysfunction?

If you have ED, you’re in luck. An erect penis is not required to thoroughly enjoy this activity! You can experience the same pleasure as a virile 20 something dude!





7. Will I have a prostate orgasm?

If you play your cards right, YES!

Prostate orgasm is the grand finale for any guy that practices prostate play. This is the pinnacle of the experience. The icing on the cake!  When combined with other forms of masturbation (like jacking off), there will be loads of “icing” shooting from his cock, if done properly! Get out the towels and the wet wipes, because things could get messy…in a good way.


Prostate vs. Traditional orgasm

This is based on my own personal experiences.  Your results may differ.

For me, these orgasms are somewhat similar to the ones I get from jacking off or vaginal sex.  They’re just MUCH more intense and last for A LOT longer.  Shooting a big load all over your partner’s back is an incredible sensation, right?  Who the heck doesn’t like that!?!?

Now, imagine that feeling, multiplied by a factor of two or three.  The sensations aren’t just focused around the genitals and immediate vicinity, either.  They can be felt from deep inside your ass all the way up to your abdominal area.

As if that isn’t enough, these orgasms often come in multiples.  If you keep stimulating, they’ll keep coming.  Since you’re not climaxing via ejaculation, there is no refractory period.  Kind of like the Energizer bunny…you can keep going, and going, and going, and going….


Multiple O’s aren’t just for women. Men can enjoy them too!


Here’s the best analogy I can think of to describe this vs. standard orgasm:

If you’re getting old, like me, you probably remember AM radio. That ancient, crackly mono technology, most youngsters will never get to experience. But it was still cool for us, because we didnt know any better. This is like the standard orgasm.

Now, fast forward to the 21st century. We have THX quality audio systems in hour homes. Everyone seems to have an iPod or smart phone that pumps crystal clear HI-FI audio straight into straight their ears. Let’s call this the big prostate “O”.

And that’s the difference.  It’s like night and day. Or Yin and Yang. You really need to experience it for yourself to fully understand it.

You’re almost there when…

Here are some of the sensations you might experience.  Remember, it’s different for every guy.  These are things I’ve felt from my own play time:

  • I’ll feel contractions outside the area of stimulation.  The thigh and pelvic areas will start to contract the muscles all on their own.
  • I get a warm sensation in my pelvic area, and around the genitals
  • I have a sense of “fullness” in my pelvic and abdominal areas
  • I’ll feel a  fullness in my urethra, even though i’m not playing anywhere near that area
  • I’ll sometimes feel like I can’t hold your bladder.  Personally, I’ve never pissed myself while doing this, it just feels like it.  Regardless, this is why it’s wise to keep a towel nearby.



What it isn’t

As I mentioned earlier, these orgasms have NOTHING to do with the genitals.  It’s an entirely different sexual response, and quite frankly, it’s much more intense than traditional masturbation.



A note on shemale orgasm

If you’re into shemale porn, you’ve probably noticed that this is a pretty big deal in that realm as well.  With that said, it works the same way.  As long as “her” prostate is still intact, all the same rules apply.


8. Should it make me cum?

By itself, prostate play doesnt make me cum. When combined with other penile stimulation activities it makes me shoot ropes of cum.

It does, however, make me drip pre-cum profusely! Like tons of it. If you’re lucky and have a partner that loves your cum, this is a great opportunity for them to lap up some of your sweet man juice. It’s a bit embarrassing for me sometimes because the amount is so much, it’ll show right through a pair of jeans. Yikes!

For other guys, they don’t drip a drop. I have no idea why some guys leak and some don’t. But it really doesn’t matter either way. Every guy is different, so it’s expected that his sexual responses are different as well.

Lots of Mr. Racy readers have emailed me over the years, asking these questions: “Is it normal if I don’t have any pre cum?” or “Is it normal if I have TONS of pre cum?”

I believe that it makes no difference at all! As long as it feels good, keep on milking. There is no normal or abnormal here. It’s all about his pleasure. Nothing else.


BONUS TIP #1: If you wanna cum REALLY, REALLY hard, follow up with a vigorous cock stroking after getting milked. It’ll be one of the best orgasms you’ve ever had.

BONUS TIP #2: While you’re masturbating and getting close to climax, have your partner rub your prostate until you ejaculate. Keep jacking until you blow your load. You might just enter the mystical realm of total Nirvana. A higher level of orgasmic goodness.





9. Play safe and clean


I think we can ALL agree that pleasuring the male prostate and the resulting orgasm are the ultimate sexual experiences a man can have.  But care must be taken so we don’t hurt ourselves.  Prostate stimulation isn’t dangerous.  However, by playing safe (lots of lube and a gentle touch) you can virtually eliminate any chance of injury down there.


Follow these 3 rules to stay safe

  1. Only stick things up your ass that were designed for that purpose.  This means using something like an Aneros device.  NOT a broom handle or electric toothbrush!
  2. Follow the manufacturer instructions that came with your device.  They will tell you how to lube, clean and maintain it.  Don’t forget:  READ THE INSTRUCTIONS.
  3. Moderation is key.  I strongly recommend against doing this every day.  Start slow.  Give your body at least 48 hours rest between sessions.  Then, after you’ve had a lot of practice, you will know better what your body can handle.


Anal fissures

You can get what’s called an anal fissure when you don’t use enough lube, or by playing too rough.  This is exactly what it sounds like: a tear or cut in the rectal wall.  It can be caused by using an anal toy or by anal intercourse.  Yeah, painful.


causes of anal fissures


Fortunately, they normally heal quickly, and you’re back in business in no time.


Reduce the risk:  self stimulate

If you’re inexperienced, you can play it extra safe by first playing on your own.  Learn first about your preferences and how your body will respond.  Once you’re comfortable with it, then bring a partner into the mix.  The added benefit of solo play is that you can do it with privacy, in your own home.


If you feel pain…

Stop what you’re doing…immediately!  Pain means something’s wrong.  See a doctor if you have any of the following symptoms.

rectal pain symtoms





10. Do I need to wash my butt hole?

Anal douching is a great way to clean things up down there and get things ready for action. There’s something unsettling when you pull your favorite anal toy out of your ass, and notice that bit of creamy poo stuck on it. Eeewwww, right?

Well, for me it’s not a huge deal. It’s part of the territory and I’ve come to accept it. I personally don’t do it on a regular basis, because I’ve found I don’t really need to. I’m kind of a clean freak.

Next, I have an email from one of my readers. He had a couple things to say about ass douching:

I just discovered your site via the article on Alternet. Kudos to you for embarking on this worthy endeavor. I particularly like your casual fun manner of speaking. You are going to be enhancing people’s lives beyond belief.

I’m a long time ass aficionado. I’ve never come across any sort of published information regarding ass play so straight forwardly and clearly explained. Well done! (I haven’t actually done a lot of research, but I really do like your style.)

Although I’ve only just perused the site, I’d like to mention one issue I have yet to see covered; that is the issue of douching as a part of the cleansing preparation. Internal cleanliness, at the very least, the rectum, is a great enhancement to a fully enjoyable experience.

I realize this is the big “ick” factor as regards preparation, but the sooner it’s “de-icked” the better. And it’s better to deal with the “ick” before one begins the activity, rather than during or after. (It can be a real buzz-kill on the afterglow…)

This is an issue I feel is not discussed nearly enough. It’s the big unspoken ICK, but, like so many other icky things, it gets easier with practice.

Regardless, I again congratulate you on your most excellent undertaking and look forward to seeing how it develops.

Good luck,

Sage advice, friend! Thanks for your input!


What the heck is douching?

It’s a simple matter of utilizing water pressure to cleanse your rectum. Women sometimes use it in their vaginas. Both men and women can do it to clean out the anal cavity.

This is a very useful practice to ensure cleanliness before anal activities. This includes prostate play!


How do I do it?

Easy. The first thing you need to do is grab the right device for the job. Sometimes called enema bulbs or rectal syringes, they’re readily available from your favorite online retailer or local drug store. And they’re cheap. You can generally find a decent one for less than $10 US.

If you’re searching online, just type in rectal bulb syringe. There are a million options to choose from.



To use it, follow these steps:

  1. Get your enema bottle ready to go. Fill it with lukewarm water.
  2. Stand over the toilet or in the tub.
  3. Lube the tip and insert into your anus.
  4. Squeeze the bulb, then release. This shoots the water into your asshole, washing out all those nasties. Keep doing it until the water comes out clean and clear. You’ll probably need to refill it a couple of times.


Or you can watch the video below.


A clean asshole is definitely beneficial when playing around down there. And anal douching is about the best way to make that happen. Cleanliness is next to godliness.



11. Does it mean I’m gay? Less of a man?

This is a topic that bothered me when I first embarked on this sexual journey.

I received an email recently that started like this:

“I don’t know why, but i feel guilty about playing with my prostate. Have you ever felt like this before?”

Sound familiar? I felt EXACTLY like that once.


no shame


Prostate play doesn’t make you gay

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again.  Sticking things up your ass for pleasure has no reflection on you as a person.  If it feels good, then do it!  NEVER be ashamed of sexual pleasures that make you feel good.

There are some guys that have experienced prostate massage with another man. If it’s something you might feel comfortable with, check out this reader submission, right here.



So what are you waiting for? Get busy and start practicing! It’s never too late to start.

Just remember. Patience is a virtue. You probably won’t get the hang of this the first time. You probably won’t by the tenth time, either. Just be persistent and good things will happen in due time.


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Author: Dave

Hi, I'm Dave. And I'm fiend?!? No, not really. But, Kinda :) Actually, I'm just your average white collar guy who happens to have a soft spot for sexy WOMEN and HOT sex toys. Hence, these are my chosen topics for this blog. I'm fluent in 3 languages: English, Profanity and Sarcasm. I own a number of male sex toys, and my personal "toybox" is growing rapidly. But prostate toys are my favorite. So, enjoy the ride, and drop me a line if you have something to say!

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  1. Question: you mentioned prostate massage with your girlfriend, does she use a toy on you, and if so, which do you suggest?

    Post a Reply
    • Dave

      Hello Mike:

      I have two toys that are great for couples: Billy and Hugo

      The Lelo Billy is great because she can use it like a dildo. I kinda enjoy the in and out action with vibrations, so this is a great toy to enjoy the best of both worlds.

      The Lelo Hugo is awesome for a totally different reason. It has a wireless remote control. We like to switch “roles” in the bedroom from time to time. When she’s playing DOM, she gets to control the vibrations from afar. She can tease and dominate me in any way she likes, as the control is in her hands. Remember, Hugo isn’t designed for in and out action…it just stays in place.

      So, depending on what you’re looking for, these are both outstanding toys for couples play. I’m lucky to have both of them in our toybox!

      Post a Reply

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