You appreciate the finer things in life. Fast exotic cars. Beautiful women. A beachfront home in Malibu.
But you haven’t made any extravagant purchases lately and there’s a lingering buyer’s itch that needs scratched. What else could you spend your hard earned money on?
Easy answer: luxury sex toys.
In this post I’m covering easily obtainable, mass produced adult toys that anyone can buy, provided they have the cash flow. Here we go…
7 Expensive Luxury Sex Toys That You Never Knew Existed
What is it? A vibrator for women
Gold has been a precious metal of importance throughout human history. It signifies wealth, power and stability. With those things in mind, Lelo created a toy of epic monetary proportions.
What better way to display your financial prowess than owning a 24 karat gold vibrating dildo? Just make sure you have a prenup, because Inez could be a point of contention in a divorce.
What more could you want?
Gold plating? Check.
Killer vibrations? Check. I can attest to this because I own one, although it’s the MUCH less expensive plastic version.
A satisfying smirk because you get your lady off with a vibrator that costs more than an economy car? Check.
A cool $15,000. Or you can opt for the silver one for about half that.
What is it? A clitoral vibrator for women
Your lady deserves the best. Boring plastic and silicone toys are so yesterday. Why not show her she’s worth it with a 24k gold super toy?
Another Lelo product, I know. But there really aren’t a lot of manufacturers making toys in this price range, worth it or not.
The metallic nature of Yva makes it an exceptional toy to experience with temperature play. This means it holds heat (or cold) very well and is able to transmit this sensation to whatever body part it touches.
Soak it in warm water or put it in the fridge until it reaches the desired temperature. Just make sure she samples the heat on another sensitive part of the body (like the wrist) before touching sensitive genitals.
Comes with gold cuff links, even though not in the picture above.
Price: $3,900. Get it in stainless steel and save a grand.
What are they? Sex dolls, both male and female.
These are intriguing pieces of sex hardware. On one hand they’re weird, creepy and taboo. On the other, sexy, kinky and erotic.
At the forefront of the love doll industry is a company called Realdoll. Their specialty is manufacturing the most life like representations of men and women currently available.
They’re also at the forefront of integrating AI (artificial intelligence) into their ceations. Interesting stuff, and I’m certainly keeping an eye on any new developements in their already awesome line of products.
Here’s the coolest thing about Realdolls
The number of options available is mind boggling. They have a complete lineup of models that are ready to go without any customization, but the buyer can choose all sorts of upgrades (for a fee of course).
These additions include but are not limited to:
- style of vagina
- pubic hair or none
- breast size
- eye color
- and much more
They’re expensive! From spending a few minutes browsing their site, the cheapest doll I could find started at around $6,000. With higher end models and a full set of options, it wouldn’t be difficult to reach $15,000 for one of these sexy silicone lovers.
Personally, if I was going to spend that kind of money I’d choose a Realdoll any day over the Inez above.
What is it? A butt toy designed for men.
Lelo billed Earl the most distinguished gentlemen’s plug in the world. I’m in total agreement. This thing looks amazing.
It’s really just a standard butt plug dipped in 24 karat gold. It’s cool because it has a loop on the end, which is basically a handle to remove it when finished.
It even comes with a matching pair of gold cuff links! A classy touch if I say so myself.
As an additional bonus, it is long enough to bump a guy’s prostate, which is an amazing experience by itself.
About $2,600. Get them in stainless and save a grand.
#5. The Sybian
What is it? A sex machine primarily used by women, but works for men too with the proper attachments
Sybian is a legendary name in the world of sex machines, giving millions of orgasms to people around the world for decades.
It looks complicated in the picture above, but it’s simpler than it looks. The main part of the machine is hump shaped, like a horses back.
To use it, the user affixes the desired toy, lubes it up, grabs the remote and eases down onto the unit.
The only gripe I’ve seen about: it’s noisy. Not a big deal unless there are kids or other adults in the house.
If you want to see it in action, just hop over to Porn Hub and search for Sybian sex.
They start at around $1,400. This includes everything to get started.
What is it? Sex furniture
The company that makes these, Liberator, got really creative when they brought this item to market. They named it Esse, which means essence. This chair is designed to make sex more enjoyable and pleasurable for both partners, which is very fitting for such a name.
Technically this is furniture, and not a sex toy. But since it’s something that is used to enhance the sexual experience, it fits the theme of this post.
Here’s the point of using one:
The natural contours of the seat assist in lining up the body parts of both partners for better penetration and easier access. One of these can go a long way towards preventing a sore back after an hour of sexy time.
Under $500. Expensive for something to just have sex on. Worth it once you get used to it.
#7. Little Something Platinum
What is it? A vibrator for women, but could be used for men too
Ok, I’ve talked enough about gold luxury toys. Now it’s time for platinum. Yeah, THAT precious metal that’s even more expensive than gold.
In this case a company named Jimmyjane introduced this meat and potatoes vibrator to the masses just a few years ago.
Meat and potatoes you ask? Yep, here’s what I mean: this is a basic no frills vibrator. Small, straight and very portable.
If there isn’t anything really special about it, other than the platinum construction, is it worth it?
Nope, probably not. But how many people do you know that have a rare metal vibrator like this? Bragging rights for days here…
Luxury sex toys come in all shapes, sizes and price ranges.
For most of us, these decadent adult products will live exclusively on our holiday wish lists forever.
For a select few, any or all of them are on the docket, limited only by the size of their bank account.
When you’re ready to give King Midas a run for his money, pick one of these up and you’ll be the mac daddy of all your friends.
Disclaimer. I don’t own any of these toys because:
- they’re too damn expensive, and/or
- there are better options available for a lot less money
- Lelo makes lots of great sex toys. Check some of mine out here, here and here.
- Make your girl squirt and beg for more! Learn how here.
- I have a tuxedo for my penis! Read more here.
- Prostate toys are the bomb. See what tickles my fancy here.
- Fleshlights are probably my most used sex toy. Here’s why.